Big things are brewing

Something big has happened, I'm sure of it.  I don't know how I feel about it, but it has.  I'm not even sure what has come out of it.

Friday.  THE BOYFRIEND and I were supposed to go out and be together.  He was even going to go to bed early so that we would have more time together.  But did that happen?  No.  Instead, when I got over to his place and started to make something to eat at 5 p.m.  He was still awake.  Hadn't even occurred to him that the earlier he got to sleep the more time we would have Friday night.  I mean, he knew that I have to work on the weekends, that I have to be there at 8 a.m. to open the gameroom.  Or even if it did occur to him, he didn't act on it.  I let him sleep, which he did until 11:15ish p.m.  And I was kinda pissed off that he didn't even think about me, about what that means to me for our relationship.  And the thing is, he only woke up when I woke him up to tell him that friends of his that I met at a pub were downstairs and were looking for him.  Which pissed me off even more.  His friends wanted him to go out with them.  And I told him to go.  Which I was fine with.  I had to work in the a.m., he didn't.  He hadn't seen these girls in a long time, so go out, have fun, catch up.  However, as he was getting dressed to go out, I kinda broke down and told him how I felt about the situation.  That I am more in this relationship than he is.  My exact words were,

"I am more a part of your life, than you are in mine."  

 And it is true, I do feel that way.  Tears started welling up and everything.  It was pretty bad.  He came over and knelt in front of me.  He looked sad.   Like I was about to tell him that I wanted to break up.  He even told me,

"I feel like you are telling me that you want to leave."

 To which I responded,

"I'm not leaving.  I don't want to leave.  This isn't the end.  I'm not going to break up with you.  I'm just telling you all this because I want you to know what is going on with me.  What I'm feeling and thinking.  I love you.  I'm just feeling ... alone in this relationship."

There was more to the conversation, I just can't remember it.  I know that he told me that he was gonna come over at 6ish a.m. to wake me up and make me coffee before I have to go into work.  I went back to my place to sleep.  I left the back door open for him.  He actually came over about 3:30 a.m. and laid in bed with me until I had to wake up and get ready for work.  He made me coffee like he promised.  When I called him that afternoon at work, he said that we were going to do something fun that evening and that it was up to me.  Which, okay, I can dig.  All I wanted to do, really, was hang out with him, alone.

To Infinity and Prosper!

It's been a week since my birthday, exactly a week.  It honestly seems like only yesterday, this week has gone by so fast.  And I know I've been a bit lax in updating but stick with me and I'll get through everything.  I'm not giving up on this thing.  Nor should you.

The Saturday prior to my birthday I had a small birthday gathering with my new St. Augustine friends. They all came over to my new residence and we just sat outside and had loads of fun.  Bad birthday karma is no longer.  My new "boss" showed up, too.  Weird, but good cause he's a good guy that I get along with so much.  We both have had really shitty exes that make going about life now just barely tolerable.  They all left around midnight, because I kicked them out (didn't want too :(  ).  THE BOYFRIEND and I were really tired and needed lots of sleep.  He had to go back to work that Sunday after being out sick the entire week; and of course I had to be at work at 8 a.m.

The day before the birthday proper, I went out with a couple of friends and got DRUNK.  So drunk I woke up that morning still drunk.  I mean, three beers and 1 shot is WASTED for me.

Getting better

So it seems as if THE BOYFRIEND is all better now.  After that last post it was one more day of sick BOYFRIEND, and then it was weak BOYFRIEND.  Now, finally, it is fully well BOYFRIEND.  A week in totality.  And it was one fucked up week.  


I was rather strict on him with what he could eat or not.  So was my mother.  Oh yeah, my parents came up for a day visit before they booked it outta town this morning.  They came to help me move my bed down from Jax.  The last thing to arrive, and I am now officially out of Jax and in St. Augustine.  I still owe my roommate money, but I'll mail the rest to him later.  


Today, after I got home from work, I was all sore and cranky from the day I had dealing with the crazy kids.  So, THE BOYFRIEND took my shoes off, got me a beer from the fridge and told me to relax.  We cuddled on the couch for a few minutes, before he instructed me to go upstairs to take a shower, drink my beer and fucking relax.  Yeah, I have a bit of a problem with relaxing.  I'm working on it.  Hey, it's been one hellish week for the both of us.  Four trips to E.R. for him.  Me worried sick.  And a lot of hours logged taking care of him.  .... Once I got out of the shower, he made me Chef Boyardee, my favorite!  Well, favorite of canned foods.  BTW, the Half-baked B&J ice cream is totally calling my name now.  SOOOO good.  


AFTER the food, then it was surfing on the internet time, until I basically forced him to put it down.  We got back to cuddling.  Much more intimate cuddling.  Which is what we were looking towards for the longest time.  Cuddling turned to touching.  Covered by a blanket, he totally fingered me there on the couch in the middle of the house.  But no one was downstairs to see it but us.  He gave me a choice; either quiet now, or loud later, or... both.  We both chose both.  Upstairs for us.  Quick take off of clothes, and we were off ourselves.  Yeah, it was quick.  This time.  Which is fine, he and I have been outta business for at least a week.  And he needed to go pick up his truck from Jax still.  But when he gets back.  ...  yeah.