This weekend, I think I may have mentioned this previously, THE BOYFRIEND and I are going back to my hometown. Yes, yes. I keep having these flashes of day dreams where I am disappointed by THE BOYFRIEND when he decides that he just doesn't want to go. Because he doesn't do whatever he doesn't want to do. I'm not bringing it up. This is the time in all my relationships (around 9 months), that they just start to fail me in one way or the other. So, I'm waiting for this one (the relationship, not HIM) to just disappoint me and I'll carry on with the relationship, until it all just starts to fall apart on me. And I'll be left one big shell of an empty human for awhile until I meet and fall in love all over again. The same god damn trap that I can't escape from.
I am expecting it, but I'm not going to go looking for it. Like when in-laws-that-you-really-don't-like come for an extended stay. And I don't know why I am expecting it, outside of what has happened to me in past relationships. Being with him has been unlike any I've been with before. Seriously. And he hasn't really "disappointed" me yet. The thing with the friend isn't a disappointment per se. It's just weird. And I'm kinda getting used to being ridiculous about it. Or rather just "it".
I should just give up on worrying so much. It's obviously not worth it. I mean, the things that I worry about always amount to nothing. It's a bad habit that needs to be nipped in the bud. Like, right now.
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