One more step

Trust.  It's hard to earn it, and it's especially hard to give it when you've been broken before.  I've got a lot of trust issues, and I'm working on them.  THE BOYFRIEND is slowly earning my trust in him.  But I'm not quite ready for the whole enchilada just yet. 

THE BOYFRIEND surprised me today.  It was a good surprise and I should've expected it, what he said.

We were on our way to Target to get a clothes hamper with a lid so that the cat will (hopefully) be deterred from using it as a litter box.  The Herman Cain radio show was on (THE BOYFRIEND loves listening to conservative talk radio because it makes him laugh).  I'm trying to remember the exact lead up to what he said(I like to voluntarily "black out" during this; conservative talk radio just makes me angry), and I'm guessing that it has something to do with what is important in life.  He said, as he was driving the truck around the parking lot,

"The only thing that is important to me is sitting next to me right now.  Aww." 

I looked at him, and my heart fluttered a bit, knowing full well that he meant me.  Not missing a beat, however, I replied,

"What?  Your CDs?"
"No, those are down there on the floor."
"Not these in this binder thing.  They are sitting next to you right now."

I didn't look, but I'm pretty sure he rolled his eyes at me.   But I still felt it, the tiny flutter of my heart as it realized that he doesn't want to go anywhere without me beside him, that I am important to him, that I can give my heart to him completely and he's not going to trash it.  My heart is on my sleeve, yes.  We murmur our love to each other every day, over the phone or in quick good byes as we head out the door to our respective work places; sometimes in between long, languid kisses in bed before we fall asleep.  My heart is not his, however.  It is still mine; mine to keep or to give; mine to keep on my sleeve or in my pocket. 

But everyday it's slowly becoming his.  One step at a time.