Besides the new job, I'm also staying the night at my new place for the first time tonight. Alone. Well, the new roommate will be there. But that just makes me more nervous. And I wish that THE BOYFRIEND could be there with me for the first time. Somebody to make me feel more at ease. But alas, he can't. I gotta wake him up for work in half an hour.
Okay, so Friday. I come home from work at 1:45 and he's asleep. Been asleep since about 1 p.m. Alright. I let him sleep, until about 9 p.m. when I'm dying to have attention from him. It's Friday, I wanna go out and have some fun. Or stay in and have some adult fun. Whichever. We go out, eat some cheesesteaks and then head to the Tavern. At the Tavern, some dude apparently was trying to lay it on thick and "reel me in". LOL THE BOYFRIEND strolls up from his pinball game. The guy looked at him, and asked,
"You two ... an item?"THE BOYFRIEND replied, smiling like he knows exactly what the guy was trying to do with me. And about 5 minutes later, him and his friend end up leaving The Tavern and going somewhere else. Guy wasn't my style anyways. Just funny to see that actually happen. I wonder if THE BOYFRIEND actually got jealous a little bit...
"Uh huh!"
Before we left for cheesesteaks, I had about two beers. Got all frisky with THE BOYFRIEND. Sex was amazingly fast. At The Tavern, I had one Guinness and a Washington Apple shot. I was pretty lit by the time we left for the night. Got back home, we got frisky again. Again, amazingly quick. Starting to be a pattern. Although, I can't help it if I just feel so good to him that he can't help himself. But he started worrying. Worrying that I might have a problem with it being fast and all. Must've been a combination of my past error (you know what I'm talking about) and the guy at the bar. I only think that the guy at the bar was a factor because of the walk home. He got all sweet and concerned that I was sure I was happy with him. So after sex, I tried to get some sleep, since I had been awake much longer than he had. And (this had never happened before) he cuddled up to me and held me as I fell off to slumberland. Twice he did this.
Saturday. We drive up to Jax to get the rest of the stuff I left there. We carried my top mattress out to his truck, tie it down, tarp it down. Get about 1 1/2 miles away before the tarp starts coming off. I tell him to pull over so I can fasten it better. Fucking tarp tears, and there is rain clouds overhead. I am completely and utterly frustrated at this point. Completely and utterly disappointed in myself. THE BOYFRIEND tries his best to cheer me up, which I eventually do after Hamburger Helper, Mississippi Gary and Neil deGrasse Tyson. (LOVE Neil deGrasse Tyson!) By now, he's been up for almost 24 hours, so we go to lie down and get side tracked by amazing, AMAZING sex. He falls asleep, then I do about an hour after he does.
Sunday. We wake up about 4:30 a.m. Fucking early. I don't remember when, or why, but after we have been awake for a bit, he comes over to me and says,
"You were amazing last night."I was so flabbergasted by this that I don't ask why. I took it to mean our sex together. But it could mean how well I dealt with all of the shit that I had to take to my confidence. Outside earlier, I had mentioned to him,
"I hope that this new thing, this new job works out well for me."It was at this moment, this moment when he declared his optimism in my skills, my ability, my ... self that I knew that I wanted to be with him. For as long as our lives last. Because he believes in me. Because he considers himself to be the luckiest man on earth when he is with me. Because I've found what everyone looks for. Whether they believe it or not, they are.
"It will. And soon you will get your new certification and be making a shit load of money."
"I don't know if I can do that. If it is in me."
"Sure it is. YOU have a much better head for technology than I do. YOU went out and did all this, on your own. You CAN do this. I know you can."
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