Today, we went out for a round of mini-golf down at St. Augustine Bayfront, then cheese steaks. Somehow we ended up at The Tavern where we had a couple round of beers each. I was blitzed, yes, while he remained quite good. At the tavern, while he was playing pinball for the second time, some chick saw me, smiled and waved, like she recognized me. I just smiled back even though I had no idea in hell who she was. I told THE BOYFRIEND what happened and all he said was,
"Aw, get it."I mean, really? Sure, she was cute. But, no. Not gonna do that while I'm there with him. That would be rude. Or even if I was not with him. Now, if he had said that he would be willing for a threesome, that would be a different thing. When he was finished with pinball, he came up to me and asked me who the secret admirer was. I just laughed and pointed her out. HE recognized her, and promptly told me that she was a train wreck. I'm sure I've met her before, just don't really remember it. Whatever. I finished my two beers and we leave after he finished. We get home and of course we have sex. Was there any doubt of the matter? We drink, we have sex. Natural course of action.
Quick change of subject. I was much more aggressive when I came over this morning. It was like, I'm here, let's have sex. So in control, and having so much fun being in control. I scratched up his arm and my tit pretty badly during it all. Teasing him by just barely inserting him just a little bit and keeping it there. He tried to force me all the way down, but I resisted. LOVED the look on his face.
Back to the tale.
Afterwards, we are laying side by side in his bed and I get up the courage to ask him. Ask him what he would think if I wanted to watch porn with him while we are fucking. At this point I'm pretty lit and only kinda care (but I can still remember it) what I'm saying to him. He of course doesn't mind. Why would I think otherwise? I know that I might feel jealous and even said so to him. But I also said that I haven't felt jealous over him, which I like. While we were kissing before sex (after the tavern) he looked down on me, ran his hands up and down my body and said to me,
"You are so hot."I didn't reply, because saying that I didn't believe him would kinda be a mood killer. But THAT is the reason why I don't feel jealous over him. That is the reason why I thought just now that I wanna be with him for the rest of my life if I could. If our lives do indeed happen that way. I felt jealous over THE EX and also the-one-that-got-away. I stayed in Jax when there was no other reason for me to stay here. I busted my ass to get a job in order to stay here. To stay with him. I've done so much for him, not so that he would stay with me if I did, but because I do love him. It's not puppy love. It's not "I love you because we have great sex and only that." It's in the way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the way he makes me feel so good inside, the way he smoothes me out when I get my feathers ruffled when I worry too much (especially that), the way we have arguments over Captain America and Joss Whedon and The Great Gatsby (I believe that was one of the books that I failed English with, not because I didn't get it, but b/c I didn't like it and refused to conform to the teacher), the way that I have to push him sometimes in order to wake up for work or go out and do something on our free day together, the way that he is so incredibly smart about so much but isn't a showoff.
Sometimes it takes people a long while to fall in love, sometimes it is instant. I don't think ours was instant, but definitely quick and concise. Not messy. Not tempestuous, not like my relationship with THE EX. It should, dare I say it, be considered one of the greatest loves of our life. I know I will always regard it as such. No, I'm not going to break into song. That's Whitney Houston you're thinking of and the song was about loving oneself. But what do I know? We've been together only a few months. Time will only tell.
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