Recently I've taken a blow to my income. A serious one. I still only work 14 hours per week at the repair shop here in St. Augustine. And nothing else. It is certainly devastating to try to live on such a small amount of income. And lately, I have been trying to push the thought out of my mind that I am starting to resent THE BOYFRIEND, starting to blame him for MY job loss. And I can't do that. I can't do that to him, and I can't do that to myself. I make my own "destiny", my own choices. No one else. But at the same time, ... I can't help but think those things. It's been making my life difficult. Tearing me apart essentially.
I've also been thinking that maybe he doesn't regard me in the same way that I regard him. I know he works very hard, and is extremely stressed at the TV station (his boss is a complete dick ... I used to work with the guy, I know). Maybe I'm just looking for things that aren't there. Maybe I am just fearing something, or throwing my own negative thoughts out onto him.
I just need to get out of this slump. Find a way to make my situation better. I know he could care and miss me if I took a job in another city. But maybe that is the only way I can better my situation. Would he be supportive if I had such a chance? Gotta try to find out.
Til then, Adieu.
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