I don't know why I worry so much. Especially with THE BOYFRIEND. I already know him to be the extraordinary person that he is. Like I said, NY resolution: worry less. By the end of my shift, life just ground out my last leg. I invited THE BOYFRIEND to come over after his shift; I was totally just going to do nothing all day and listen to angry, angry music. (if the system fucks you, fuck the system back!) He did, and also helped me with my car. I had locked my keys in the car, and was about to pay for a lock pop. He used his AAA membership to get my lock popped, for free. We listened to angry music, got high. Fucked. And omg, THAT was fucking amazing. His hands were around my throat, too. Yes, I'm freaky when it comes to things, but I also admitted my freaky side in the beginning! But then he took them off, and I didn't say anything, but was slightly disappointed. Flipping over and finishing. Sex is definitely something we are phenomenal at together. THE BOYFRIEND, later, said to me,
"There are rare times that I don't see the whites of your eyes."
He had that look on his face too. Eyes and mouth WIDE open, supreme surprise and excitement on his face. You know, the part WOW, part what the fuck just happened. We put our clothes back on, once we could force ourselves to move again. Went out for a smoke. Chatted. I told him,
"I hope this doesn't change things, but..."
Yeah that's a great way to start a sentence. Especially after a round of fantastic sex.
"...when you had your hands around my throat like you did, ... I liked it."
So, now he knows that I like getting ... interesting. I think it went well. Don't remember his response, because hey, I was/am high. Sometime after that, we are kissing. He chooses then to say the following,
"I'm crazy about you."
I laugh softly and just said,
"Me too."
Hey, he already knows I feel the same. He laughed also.
"You were so cute when you reacted like that last night."
"Hey! You didn't know what was going through my mind then!"
"Neither did you."
"Yeah, ... I know."
was my rather sheepish response. After that we laid in my bed, cuddling and kissing softly, sleeping some. There wasn't a need for the angry music anymore; the sex and the smoke totally obliterated the need. But he had to leave; needed food and to move the rest of his stuff. I kinda feel bad about not being there with him to help move, but I think he understood my position today.
OH I was so worried, and it turned out to be really nothing. Trusting my instincts is such a bad idea, because obviously my instincts SUCK.
THE BOYFRIEND and I moved about half of his stuff today, before we collapsed from exhaustion. The work day was hard and we both had gotten very little sleep the night before. In fact, I let him have my keys to my house (he couldn't get in, stupid locks!), and when I got off work, we both slept hard for about 3 hours. Woke up, layed around and had leftover christmas dinner. He told me while we were laying around,
"You're so good to me."
This means so much to me. I've never heard that before.
"I could say the same thing about you."
When we got down to St. Augustine, it was after 3. Before we packed up, lots of touching and kissing. I went down on him, because of the bodily sabotage. He came really fast. He must have been hurting to cum for awhile. I wonder if he masturbated while I was gone. Probably. When does a guy NOT masturbate when he's got no one to fuck? Got the bed, cat and food over. Smoked some with his roommates, then settled down to sleep. Except we didn't. Kissing ensued. Hot and heavy, dirty. It was sooooo good. I was really horny and really dying to orgasm. I consented to sex. It was great, but not the best. Alright. I mean, we both were we high. So why wasn't it amazing? Ok, so THE BOYFRIEND came. What happened next, never happened to me before. He's still there, inside me, when he starts moving again. And he cums, again? It wasn't even a minute after the 1st time, and he's already ready for the second! Or, he didn't cum and he just finished what he started. I don't know. NOW is when my foot met my mouth. We're lying there, he's still inside me, on top of me. I'm feeling really, really happy right then.
"I'm crazy about you. But not in that stalkerish, obsessive way."
Pause.
"I like you."
I like you. WHAT? Did I read the signs wrong yet again, as I so often do? It's dark, he can't see my face. I'm quiet, my right hand just comes up to my face and rests between my eyes, like what the fuck did I just say? I'm such an idiot. And I say that.
"I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot. I shouldn't have said that."
"Shit happens. That's usually the stance I take on things."
This just sends me deeper down the rabbit hole of my overthinking mind. DEEP down the rabbit hole.
"Dude, it's not like I love you."
"That's not what you said."
"I know. I just didn't know what connotation you were taking."
"But that's not what you said."
"Nevermind. I'm an idiot. I'm gonna go to the bathroom now."
"You are overthinking again."
"I told you I live inside my head so much."
"Yeah, but this is me saying you are overthinking things. That's something."
I come back from the bathroom and I'm still overthinking about it. I lie down to sleep, except that I can't; my head can't come off of the subject of my big fucking mouth. But I took some sleep aid, and I disappear inside my unconscious and dreams. His alarm went off, but I didn't hear it. He did. That's how deep I was. He never hears it. It's usually me that wakes him up. We get dressed and leave. No cuddling time, no sweetness. NO time really. Snoozed the alarm twice. We drive back to Jax to get my car for work. There's enough time before I have to leave, so we cuddle a little bit on my bed. Alright. Not too bad. I was overthinking things. It's 11:40p, I have to get to work. Outside, by our cars, I just say,
"I'll see you later."
"Um, yeah."
No, kissing goodbyes. At work, I ask this guy friend of mine that I trust to give me the straight and narrow when it comes to shit like this. HIS explanation was:
"Oh you're fine. He was high, he just came. He was just stuck in his head, the explosions from the orgasm are still going off in his head. He was enjoying that. You're lucky you got 'I like you."
That made me feel sooooo much better. When he gets there around 12:40a, we go out for a smoke. BS, but no light kissing like so many times, or even a nice long one. It's just straight, BSing and a head on my shoulder. I'm back inside the rabbit hole. And that is the where I am now. Alice in Fucking Wonderland. I started to pull away, back at my place. I didn't stop to kiss him goodbye, just "See you later." I. Like. You. Who knew that those three words could be such a fucking downer. Nothing is what it is because everything is what it isn’t; down the rabbit hole I go. Fucking up another Fucking great relationship because I can't keep my fucking mouth closed!!! DIDN'T I LEARN!?
Update: Since NY resolution is to not worry so much and to stay out of my own head as often as this year, I"m just going to let it go. Or try to. Only thing, haven't gotten a txt from him (he could be busy, we are working now), or a knock on my door since 1am (again, he could be busy). I'm overthinking again, worrying too much. This next year is going to be tough.
I had to let THE BOYFRIEND down today. I had suggested breakfast Wednesday morning, after our shifts. His response:
"Wednesday I'm ripping whatever you're wearing off with my teeth."
While that is appealing to me SO much, it wasn't going to happen due to the idea that my body has of sabotaging me like THIS! But, he took it in stride. I could tell that he was upset of it, but it didn't happen on purpose. I think I'm gonna help him move that day instead of having sex with him like we both want to. Work out that sexual tension/desire with good, hard manual labor. I can just imagine next monday morning. I think he gets out around 7:30 on the second.
A friend of mine told me today that she is happy that I finally have someone who treats me well, and that she can see in my blog that he does in fact treat me very well, and that I am falling head over heels. I also told her that I really can't afford to feel like that right now. She just said to enjoy it. Enjoy the puppy love.
I am thinking about changing the title of the blog. Suggestions? Something classy, please.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Serious malfunction! Just got my period. NOT cool, body of mine. Not cool at all.
Right after work ended at 2pm, I drove down to St. Augustine. I didn't even bother napping; just gathered my clothes and out the door. I get there and I could tell in his eyes that he really wanted to have sex. But it seems like we used all the condoms and needed to go out to get more. I must say, I am both surprised and impressed that we used all the condoms. Roommates, not so much I'm sure. But as soon as we get back with the condoms, it is ON! It's hard and not quick at all. I mean, the speed and the intensity was there, but he obviously wanted to make sure I got satisfied. AND during sex, I accidently let one (or two) loose. I don't know if he noticed or not, but I'm not about to admit to it! So, incredibly embarrassing. Have you ever experienced that? Just HUMILIATING! In fact, I know for sure that this is instant fodder for the roommates to use. But whatever, I'll deal.
We didn't have sex again until the next morning when we woke up. Morning sex. I know he enjoyed it and I did too. It just took me a bit to wake up and start enjoying it. I'm very sluggish in the morning. Afterwards, we go out for doughnuts and our morning wake up beverages. I have mad sex hair, but I don't care. More like I wear it with pride.
We take it slow the rest of the morning that I spend there. We kiss a lot, sweetly at first and then hard. But we both stop it, not very successfully because we go back to it soon each time. There wouldn't have been enough time. I have to leave at 9 to get to work by 10a, and it was already 8:45. Frowny face. What a day to have to work. But he really wants to draw this moment out. We're not going to see each other until Wednesday AT WORK, which is when I get back into town from visiting family on for the holiday. For instance, I am getting dressed, my bra is on. He comes up to me and gives me this embrace, and unhooks my bra! Another example of how much he really didn't want me to go away for a few days, he looked down my open polo shirt at my tits as I'm sitting in my car about to leave. He didn't even hide the fact and I kinda encouraged it too. I have to give him something to remember me by these next few days. Might as well be my tits. Great memories with those.
One thing I do know about this situation of sex, sex and more sex interspersed with actual relationship building time, I'm losing weight like nobody's business. I was 130 yesterday, Wednesday, and I am now 127. My vibrator breaking seems like the best thing since pizza. Who knew? About ONE WEEK after it breaking, I have a new, regular boy toy who then became THE BOYFRIEND. As one roommate said to me this evening after breaking the news,
"You need to just tell all the ladies that this is the way to loose weight."
I do have to eat regularly, especially since the trip to the hospital last Saturday. But my body just seems to eat up the calories that I ... well, eat.
So THE BOYFRIEND ended up coming up anyways. The sexual tension at work was so enormous, it was like trying to fit an elephant through the eye of a needle. When he did get here, we didn't waste any time getting down to business. One odd thing that I noticed though: he didn't bring a condom. For someone who knows what's going to happen, it is odd NOT to bring one. But I digress. Sex was full of need and desire. We couldn't stop touching each other, kissing each other; it drove us on further and further. I know at one moment, I almost blurted out "I love you"; but I caught myself before I did and just redirected the sentence to "I love fucking you." Yeah, that would've been disastrous to say the least.
So we ended up having sex like 3 times, actual penetration. He brought me to a head once more with his AMAZING hands and mouth, and I returned the favor. On the third time having actual sex, we were both really tired, and really high too. So, after a brief repast, I finished him off. So fantastic to know that I can do that well. It's a real skill. A lot of women underestimate the giving head skill. But I'm proud to say that I am close to mastering it. Thanks late night television!
After that last time, food and beer. Considering that he had to work at 1 a.m. tonight, I said that he could just sleep here. My bed is big enough, and it's close to work. We were so exhausted from today, that we both just collapsed as soon as we got into bed around 7 p.m, and, as far as I am concerned, completely satisfied sexually. If this is what we are like after not having sex for two days, just imagine when I come back to town from Christmas with the family. Lordy. Roomates beware, I guess.
Sometime in between the second and third time, I actually thought about how I felt, and why I feel like I am falling in love with this guy. It has to do with the-one-that-got-away. He reminds me so much of him. Short, sweet, very much his own man (i.e. not caring what others think). So it's not so much that I love THE BOYFRIEND, but being with him reminds me of the-one and how much I loved him. Whew! Glad THAT'S settled. No more thinking those thoughts for a while.
Another thing I noticed, I tend to ramble stupid shit when I am unsure of myself and the situation. Yeah, gotta work on that. For instance, during the time out in the third inning, he started giving me a back massage. And I started to ramble,
"You know you don't have to do that. I"m not complaining. Oh, I see what you are up to. I am an idiot. Just ignore me. I'm gonna shut up now."
Yeah it was bad. I wonder why he puts up with me. My quirks have got to be confusing to others and soon not worth trying to figure out. As always.
Spending a day NOT having sex has it's good points and it's bad. Good: We know we can enjoy each other without having sex and when you finally do have sex together it's phenomenal (hopefully). Bad: you start to worry that all that silence between the two of you is sign of something horrible going on in the relationship. Now we haven't had sex yet since Monday; except for Tuesday, we haven't even been around each other (I needed to crash from exhaustion yesterday). Today at work, when I see him I really just want to tear his clothes off and just FORGET that we are at work and other people may happen upon our happy reunion. I mean full-on sex; the thought itself makes me wet with need. It's really too bad that he has to take his cat to the vet this morning. It would have been one of those days.
So what is it about sex in a relationship that makes it a forefront object of said relationship? If it's great, you feel really good and you want to see him/her again. For MORE. And then you progress onto actually building a relationship together, in between the rounds of great sex. But the basis of the whole thing is ... sex. Maybe there is something to the idea that having sex in a relationship just ends up ruining it. Then again, if something is wrong in the relationship it can be seen in the physical part as well, or the relationship is just bad to begin with, like my last relationship. Sex was great, but dude was a terrible human being. All in all, sex is great as long as it is safe, but I gotta try to build a great relationship along side of the great sex.
The BOYFRIEND came over today after his shift. I had an appointment in St. Augustine and he was gonna drive me down there and then back up for work. This is the big news that I'm sure all my friends (and possibly you the reader) will be surprised -slightly- to hear. We're lying in my bed, just enjoying each other's company like normal. We start kissing and it gets heavy; that's normal, right? He stops for a moment, looks at me, and says,
"I don't come over here just to have sex. I come over because I like hanging out with you. You know, that right?"
I look at him quizzically. WHICH prompts the following from him,
"It's not that I don't like having sex with you; it's great! I just wanted you to know that isn't the only thing I want from you."
"There was a time in which I was questioning that, but, eh, I just stopped thinking about it and let it be what it is."
We didn't have sex in the end; we spent the day together, without having sex once. That's right, folks. You heard it here first. We didn't have sex. Instead it was sweet kissing, hand holding and cuddling. And it was a very good day.
As we were on the way out the door, his cat, a female grey and white tabby, gives me a glare. Completely squinty eyed, "I'm gonna cut a bitch if you go near him" glare. It throws me off a bit, like
"HOLY shit! Your cat is not liking me at the moment."
The BOYFRIEND just walks over to her, pets her grey fur and says,
"Yeah I know you're angry I'm spending time with another woman instead of you. Tough!"
I laugh loudly at this, and we head out the door back to my house.
Things with THE BOYFRIEND are moving quite quickly; we are spending a lot of time together. No problem with that at all. :) And not just for the sex either. I mean, it happens at least twice each day we see each other. It's phenomenal! He is just quite the extraordinary human. Really what I need after THE EX.
For example, this weekend I of course spent it with him in his house and around St. Augustine. We didn't tear each other's clothes off as soon as I walked in the door. We lasted 15 minutes, but, hey, it's an improvement. ... Nah, I'm a-ok with both. That was just a quick hello fuck. Sometime later was the best non-high fuck of my life. It was simply amazing. I went until I couldn't go anymore, collapsing sweating and panting heavily onto his chest. I have to say I do love it when he cums. Right before he sticks his tongue out to his top lip, concentrating heavily. Then when he does actually cum, he says "shit!" and hangs his head down and then exhales heavily.
So the date nite with the boyfriend started out good but ended with me in the ER. I passed out due to "mild starvation". I know how to make it special.
So we are officially boyfriend/girlfriend now. I asked him after a round of great sex. It was quick. Right after we got home from lunch. It seems like whenever we get into a room alone together we can't keep our hands and lips off each other. Hey, I have no problems with that. He fucking phenomenal. So it went down like this: panting,
"Can I ask you a question?" "Sure." "Are you my boyfriend now?" "I guess so. I was going to ask you the same thing."
I smiled. We are on the same wavelength about the whole thing after all. It gives me a great glow, or so my roommate tells me.
We get high sometime after that, and more sex. Oh man, I think I broke him. It was so fucking great that apparently even after he came, I STILL went on riding him. It just kept coming. Wave after wave of orgasms. Never stopping. I cannot express in words how it felt. Seriously. Finally, I collapsed on top of him.
"I can't move." "Wow, that was amazing! You were absolutely amazing!"
A huge-ass smile filling his face. He was completely happy, and that made me even more happy.
"Did you cum?" "Yeah I did." "Oh I didn't notice. I was kinda caught up in my own thing." "Yeah I noticed."
I don't remember when exactly, but we were making out again. I adjust myself so that I'm on top of him. He groans and says,
"No mas! Not now. Maybe later." "Oh gee, did I break you?" "I think you did, yeah." "I think I broke myself!"
Well, tomorrow is our first date. Now that I know were are actually dating, I find myself worried that he's going to break up with me because he doesn't find me interesting, or whatever, anymore. Like, all that we have that is great together is sex. I don't know if I can handle that. Someone not finding me "date-able", someone that I really like, that makes me happy beyond what I have been these past ... however many years it has been that is. I probably could. I just don't want to have to experience it this soon after. Worrying sucks. Fills my head with thoughts that I can't get rid of. Why, oh why do I have live inside my head so much?!
Feel free to comment! I love hearing your thoughts! Honestly, comment. It's why I post.
(Yeah, the post title is cheesy, but the title of the blog is extremely cheesy so I have the right to be cheesy when I want to)
I'm so happy right now. I mean, it's amazing. Just simply amazing. After two weeks we are finally going on a date. I'm guessing that we have been dating since the beginning. But not exactly sure. It was so adorable how Monday asked me. We were sitting on the steps outside my house, I'm nestled in between his legs on the step below him, his arms around me, he asks,
"So you wanna go on a date?"
It's like he was nervous asking me. I'm sure he was. The entire day, I was debating how and when I was gonna ask him what our status is. And then this. I feel so much better. So happy! I asked him,
"What was last saturday then, if not a date?"
"Well, that wasn't a date. We should do something more... wholesome. You know, wear clothes."
So we are going to a movie, The Muppets actually.
Today, at work, I pull him into the room that I work in and just kiss him senseless. I love kissing him. So fantastic; it's firm and aggressive. LOVE IT! And we of course made plans to see each other after I get off. Around 9:30, I'm still at work and he has just gotten off. We go outside to smoke and there are a whole buncha people out there, and I of course am completely unhappy about this. I wanted to be out there alone with him. As I head back inside, and he sticks around to chat some, we give each other this look. This "I so cant wait to just strip you down and fuck you senseless" look. Yeah, THAT one. We only exchanged a single word then,
"Later."
Back at my house, and after I have showered (work makes me so ... icky), sex is immediate. And fantastic. It's hard and heavy, fast and delicious. Afterwards, we try to nap, but we end up having sex again. I'm rather surprised he can do it again that quickly after the last time. But this time, it's more sweet and sensual, more ... loving for lack of a better word. Lots of stroking each other's skin, light kissing. He kissed and suckled at my skin from the tips of one hand to the next, up my arm and neck, across my face, and to the ends of the other arm. At one point, he actually kissed me like the-one used to, light butterfly like kisses with his mouth at the corner of my eye. I can't fuck this up. Now that I am so close to being a whole human being again. Back from digressing, after we nap for two hours, we are outside, which is when the above occurs.
I told a friend that I have a boyfriend now, and he guessed who it was right off the bat. Apparently, he looks like somebody I would be into, and I look like a girl that he would be into (he works with us also). And of course, he's completely happy for me. For the longest time, I have been whinning about how much I want a relationship. With SOMEONE who treats me well, looks at me the right way, and is not a total dick loser. AND now I have. Everyone should feel like I do right now.
Yeah so I'm completely sore, but completely happy. Spent the night over at Monday's house (gonna have to come up with a new nickname for him). First things first, I walk into his room and we are instantly kissing, tearing clothes off. It was exactly how I imagined it to go. Amazing sex, btw. But the downside is that he didn't cum while we were fucking, more like when I went down on him. Alright, I can handle that. We lie in a sweaty, exhausted mess for a few minutes. Then food. Come back, more sex. Wow, I mean, Yeah wow. But again, he doesn't cum. Not even when I went down on him to try to get him to cum. Beer, kids in the hall, walked to his favorite local bar. Beer, chatter. I really do like hearing him talk. From one thing to the next, really made me like him more and more. I know, I'm getting in too deep with this one. And I'm still unsure what our official status is. Back at his house, we smoke out some, watching the Republican Debate. The REPUBLICAN DEBATE. Oh man, that really sets us off. I mean, I'm riding him hard, cumin a lot. It was AMAZING. Absolutely amazing. Even he thought so too, watching me. As I came down, he said,
"Wow, that was amazing. You are so hot. I love having sex with you."
All smiles and heavy breathes. Dude really knows how to talk to a girl. And I'm still fucking high as a kite.
"I love having sex with you! OH you are fucking awesome."
I say to him, panting. But I'm confused. He said I was hot when I cum. Does this mean every time or just now when we are high, and sensations are high? So I say,
"I am just hot when I cum now, because you are high."
"What? No! Yes, I am high, but that's not it."
That weekend with him was great. I haven't felt like that in a long while. I mean way before THE EX. Probably since the-one-that-got-away. And that was 2006, maybe before then. 2001, when we broke up the first time. Of course it doesn't hit me that the-one-that-got-away is the last one I felt this way with until monday morning when Monday came over after his shift, and he looks at me in that adoring way that the-one used to look at me with. It's all slightly freaky for me. I thought that I would never find someone who could look at me like that again. And here it is; and we are only just sex buddies. Or is it more? See this is what I was talking about! You get trapped when you are FWBs with someone. You start feeling things, you get confused and possibly hurt in the end. I'm confused and don't want to get hurt because I'm confused. SO, I'm not going to bring it up. And I'm trying to keep from feeling things.
Back to the weekend. Sunday morning, after laying around for a few hours. I of course hadn't slept all night. Not from sex, more like allergies. But I carry on. Don't want to miss a second of being with him while I am there. We end up walking to the local farmer's market that's open on Sundays. It starts raining, and we walk back in the pouring rain. We strip down, he goes to get a shower to warm up, I lay down on his bed naked, just his blanket covering my lower half. The look on his face when he sees me, complete adoring, bedroom eyes. He comes to me and starts stroking my body, like he's trying to memorize each and every line, every bone. It's fantastic. And of course we go at it again.
Around 2p, I leave. He needs to sleep before work, and I just need sleep. If I would've stayed longer, I doubt that we both wouldn't have slept very much.
Overall, we ended up being very sore, like a very strenuous workout or being run over with a car. Which, admittedly, it was. And when he comes over Monday, we are still sore.
"Do you think we can?"
"I so want to have sex, but I don't know if we can do it."
Well, we do, twice. With a 2 hour nap in between. Makes him late in leaving. But it was so worth it. And he does it again. The Look. With his clothes back on, he cups my face and stares into my eyes, and says,
"You are so pretty."
My first thought is of course "WHAT? Have we gone beyond now?" But I just say thanks, and leave it at that. As he gets in his car, he does it again! I'm so fucking confused now. And I don't know if I think that maybe, possibly moving beyond sucks, or not. This is what I was wanting for the longest time. Someone who I can have a great, sustainable relationship with, and doesn't make me want to run in the opposite direction. So why am I confused? This is crazy.
So, i was at a chain store (not gonna say which one), and my friend who knows all about my previous condom mishap says,
"Why don't you buy some since you are here?"
So, we go to look for the condoms. And they are right out in front of the pharmacy where three people are waiting for their prescriptions. I really don't want to stand there and analyze the boxes for the right ones. I'm looking for a box of trojans that are just simple. Of course there aren't any, they are hidden. Suddenly, I hear someone behind me, asking about my hair. It's a mother with her daughter. I'm trying not to look embarrassed. Don't they know NOT to ask questions to somebody standing in front of the shelf of condoms. WAIT until they have moved away to something different BEFORE they ask. Geesh. But I answer their questions about my hair color, and go about my highly embarrassing quest for a box of just simple, lubricated condoms. I finally find trojans and durex that are just lubricated. But I don't know which one to get. One's regular and one is extra sensitive. So I buy both. And of course, my friend just has to tease me about it, in the middle of this super huge chain retail giant.
"Why are you buying TWO boxes of condoms? You must really be preparing for a long night." snicker
Hey, safe sex! I know I don't want to get pregnant or diseased!
And now I have 20 condoms, ready to go. Put a few in my wallet AND car. Never know when the time is right. Plus, now the one roommate the I borrowed from tells me that we can be on a barter system with condoms. I gave him four now and he'll give me some when he gets back from Miami. Hopefully, they aren't "Borrowed" condoms.
Monday and I had sex again. This time I didn't stick my foot in my mouth and say something stupid. Well, maybe in the "pregame" breakfast. He called and we went out for breakfast after our shifts were over. We were just friends at this moment. Neither of us sure if sex was in the cards for that day. The waitress gave us one check, so we were deciding who should pay. He said,
"I'll take it, it was my idea to come out for breakfast anyways."
"Are you sure? I mean, I'm not one of the girls who needs to have meals paid for."
And the tension ensued. I didnt look at him, just at my phone. It was terrible, but it passed like it should with friends.
Back at my house/room, we ended up watching Batman: Year One. Ahh, that's such a great panty dropper. Not really. It took some time to actually get into the mood for sex. You know, hand touching/rubbing, leg rubbing. I didnt want to be the one who made the first move. I was waiting for him. The whole time we were laying there I was thinking, Come on, I know you want to. Just make the first move. Finally, he did. But then we realized, no condom. So I just go down on him again. He came easily. I like when that happens; I dont have to work hard at making someone cum. It gets boring after awhile. I snickered as I took off his pants, remembering my blunder Monday. I swallowed, not wanting to have to go to the bathroom to spit. Such a hassle. He didnt want to full on kiss me, due to the semen mouth I had. But he did well with the other stuff. No finger penetration or oral sex, this time, but I still came and well too. Dizzy, lightheaded well.
Sometime later, after conversations and more Batman: Year One (apparently it IS a panty dropper. Must be all that black leather batman wears), we get into it again. This time, no substitutions possible. We needed a condom (or two) and fast. So I had to get one from my roommate. One's room was locked, the other had someone over from the night before. So, when I went to ask him, it was a tad awkward for me. I used the words, "can I borrow a condom?" Yeah, I know how to do it. Dumbass. The roommate found it hilarious.
The look on Monday's face after he came was entertaining. It was part Wow, part what just happened. He told me it was because he wasnt expecting my vagina's walls squeezing him as he came. I dont even remember doing that, but I guess that's good that I dont remember doing it. I can remember scrapping my nails across his skin and the sharp intake of breath from him... so turned me on more.
We laid in bed talking for awhile, about movies, comics and music. Sharing stories about our lives and what we like, etc. I know I could've done it all day long. Talking and having sex, not caring about who is in the house at the time Those are the times I like. Now I'm digressing. Anyways, we were like that until I realized it was 2pm and he needed to go.
The best part about finding someone to have sex with is having sex with them again. You don't have to look around and play the flirtatious part again. If you can find someone that is good and knows what you like, you obviously want to have sex with that person again. Being friends with benefits is an excellent option, if it ends the way you want: either just being friends or more. If you don't then that just sucks. Feelings are more likely to develop with FWBs, deep I-am-in-love-with-you feelings. So if you can handle that, go for it.
One more thing, if the pair in question happen to live, oh say 40 minutes apart, remember to have extra condoms (safe sex everybody) and an extra set of clothes, always. Especially if you are working a.m. shifts and you suddenly realize that it's 2pm and you needed to be alseep like now for a midnight shift.
At the christmas party saturday, I was heavily flirting with a guy I work with. Yeah, I'm no newbie at the co-worker thing. I'm like a water through a sieve with co-workers. Honestly, I really need to stop sleeping with people I work with. Anyways, we both knew what the other was wanting by the end of the night. But, no, I didn't go home with him then. I had to work early in the morning, and I knew it would go all night. Monday morning, however, I was awake very early - try 4:30a - and I texted him to see if he wanted to hang out after he got off work. He did, and promptly came around. At this point, I really wasn't sure if I actually wanted to have sex with him. So, I ... dipped my toes in the water. Snuggling up close and brushing my feet and other parts on him. Finally, I bit the proverbial bullet and just kissed him. Moving the story along, our clothes come off and I mention to him that I don't have a condom. He tells me,
"I have one."
To which I reply,
"Do you always carry one with you?"
"Well, you never know,"
he tells me smiling this big shit eating grin,
"By always, I mean since Saturday."
Laughing, I reply,
"Oh you were that sure of yourself?"
"Like I said, you never know."
So we screw around. I cum; I mean, wow this boy can fuck. I like it nasty just any other normal girl, but for simple "I'm just getting to know you and I don't want you to know how I like it just yet so that I don't scare you away" sex, it was good. But he doesn't. He stops me, says that his penis is getting to sensitive, that it is starting to hurt. I thought it had something to do with me, because I'm going down on him. So we stop, go outside for a smoke. We come back in and start kissing again. At this point, I'm all tapped out for a bit. So I start to pull his pants off. AND as I'm doing that my big mouth-that-I-can't-keep-closed-for-the-life-of-me opens and out comes
"wow, you're so tiny."
Yeah, my face turns bright red and I get all flustered.
"I'm so sorry, that's not what I meant at all! I was talking about your waist."
"You might not want to say 'you're tiny" as you're taking a guy's pants off. Just for future reference."
"Yeah, I know."
But, I made up for it. And he hasn't been deterred from talking to me at least. Who knows if I'll get to show him how I actually like it.
This is going to be a running monologue, a discourse if you will, about all the crazy sexual escapades I get into, and how sometimes it can create lunacy between two consenting adults. It's not porn. Not going to go into details fit for "penthouse letters". It is completely anonymous, no details about my life, other than the sex, their names are going to be completely made up to protect them and well, myself. Just forewarning you, that's all. Other than that, laugh away at my ... sweet cherry pies.
