Spending the night over

Yeah so I'm completely sore, but completely happy.  Spent the night over at Monday's house (gonna have to come up with a new nickname for him).  First things first, I walk into his room and we are instantly kissing, tearing clothes off.  It was exactly how I imagined it to go.  Amazing sex, btw.  But the downside is that he didn't cum while we were fucking, more like when I went down on him.  Alright, I can handle that.  We lie in a sweaty, exhausted mess for a few minutes.  Then food.  Come back, more sex.  Wow, I mean, Yeah wow.  But again, he doesn't cum.  Not even when I went down on him to try to get him to cum.    Beer, kids in the hall, walked to his favorite local bar.  Beer, chatter.  I really do like hearing him talk.  From one thing to the next, really made me like him more and more.  I know, I'm getting in too deep with this one.  And I'm still unsure what our official status is.  Back at his house, we smoke out some, watching the Republican Debate.  The REPUBLICAN DEBATE.  Oh man, that really sets us off.  I mean, I'm riding him hard, cumin a lot.  It was AMAZING.  Absolutely amazing.  Even he thought so too, watching me.  As I came down, he said,

"Wow, that was amazing.  You are so hot.  I love having sex with you."

All smiles and heavy breathes.  Dude really knows how to talk to a girl.  And I'm still fucking high as a kite.

"I love having sex with you!  OH you are fucking awesome."  

I say to him, panting.  But I'm confused.  He said I was hot when I cum.  Does this mean every time or just now when we are high, and sensations are high?  So I say,

"I am just hot when I cum now, because you are high."

"What?  No!  Yes, I am high, but that's not it." 

That weekend with him was great.  I haven't felt like that in a long while.  I mean way before THE EX.  Probably since the-one-that-got-away.  And that was 2006, maybe before then.  2001, when we broke up the first time.  Of course it doesn't hit me that the-one-that-got-away is the last one I felt this way with until monday morning when Monday came over after his shift, and he looks at me in that adoring way that the-one used to look at me with.  It's all slightly freaky for me.  I thought that I would never find someone who could look at me like that again.  And here it is; and we are only just sex buddies.  Or is it more?  See this is what I was talking about!  You get trapped when you are FWBs with someone.  You start feeling things, you get confused and possibly hurt in the end.  I'm confused and don't want to get hurt because I'm confused.  SO, I'm not going to bring it up.  And I'm trying to keep from feeling things.

Back to the weekend.  Sunday morning, after laying around for a few hours.  I of course hadn't slept all night.  Not from sex, more like allergies.  But I carry on.  Don't want to miss a second of being with him while I am there.  We end up walking to the local farmer's market that's open on Sundays.  It starts raining, and we walk back in the pouring rain.  We strip down, he goes to get a shower to warm up, I lay down on his bed naked, just his blanket covering my lower half.  The look on his face when he sees me, complete adoring, bedroom eyes.  He comes to me and starts stroking my body, like he's trying to memorize each and every line, every bone.  It's fantastic.  And of course we go at it again.

Around 2p, I leave.  He needs to sleep before work, and I just need sleep.  If I would've stayed longer, I doubt that we both wouldn't have slept very much.

Overall, we ended up being very sore, like a very strenuous workout or being run over with a car.  Which, admittedly, it was.  And when he comes over Monday, we are still sore.

"Do you think we can?" 

"I so want to have sex, but I don't know if we can do it."

Well, we do, twice.  With a 2 hour nap in between.  Makes him late in leaving.  But it was so worth it. And he does it again.  The Look.   With his clothes back on, he cups my face and stares into my eyes, and says,

"You are so pretty."

My first thought is of course "WHAT?  Have we gone beyond now?"  But I just say thanks, and leave it at that.  As he gets in his car, he does it again!  I'm so fucking confused now.  And I don't know if I think that maybe, possibly moving beyond sucks, or not.  This is what I was wanting for the longest time.  Someone who I can have a great, sustainable relationship with, and doesn't make me want to run in the opposite direction.  So why am I confused?  This is crazy.