Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Moving in?

When THE BOYFRIEND came over today, it was only for a few minutes, and only to say hi, etc.  As he was leaving, we talked about my moving down to St. Augustine, possibly.  That we both would like it better if that happened.  I mean, we wouldn't have to drive 40 minutes in order to be together.  Just a jaunt down the road.  He did mention something that quickens my heart just a bit, with questions abounding in my mind.  He told me that one of his roommates and her boyfriend are moving in together (and her out of the house) in a few months.  And he only pays $250 + utilities a month.  Which is much better than what I've got now.  Sorry.  Then this:
"And I know that we would be spending time in either of our beds, anyways."
Now, I thought I understood what he meant then.  But then I get to thinking about it.  Does he want me to move in WITH him? And if so, does he understand what that means? Yes, he is a very smart guy and knows what the words mean and the theory behind it.  But has he actually ever lived with someone before?  (If he says Katie, I think I'll have a heart attack.  *eye twitch*)  I have, and it didn't go so well.  Now, I'm extremely wary about doing that again.  Especially so soon in a relationship.  Yeah, it was with the dick EX, and I shouldn't base actual relationships on what happened with him cause THAT was a mind fucker, and still is.  This thing with THE BOYFRIEND is still so new.  I just don't want him or me to loose our selves and then get angry with one another because of it.  Spending so much time with one person is a bit of a killer.  Granted I'm going to school and he's got this crazy new schedule that it shouldn't be too much of a problem.  I just like to think of ALL the possibile outcomes ahead of jumping in and doing this.  That way I'm not surprised.  Hate surprises.

So what if that isn't what he means?  And what does he mean exactly?  I need to talk to him about this, get the full picture.  Cause this could be a big thing, or it's just "hey, life is cheaper in Lincolnville."  Gotta figure out what to say, and more importantly HOW to say it.

I'm a mess.  A big HOT mess.

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