Too much sex?

There was a thing that I was really looking forward to going to all week.  A band that I knew multiple members of, if not all the members, was having a gig.  And I so wanted to go.  It would be the first time that I would actually see the band play.  Plus, the boyfriend really needed a great night amongst friends and drinking and letting loose.  BUT as luck would have it, it fucking rained.  In fact, I even woke him up from a nap so that we (or rather I) could go and have a good time.  As we were walking to the place, it started to rain, downpour even.  And there went my (and his) night.  It wouldn't be worth it.  Non-smoking establishment, crowded porch, crowded inside.  I just need something to take my mind off of everything.  Off of this depressing moment that is my life right now.  My blip in the history of the cosmos.  So infinitesimal and minute.  


Yeah, I've been watching a lot of Carl Sagan lately.  Back to the story.


About an hour after we get back to the house, chill for a bit.  THEN it decided to stop raining and we go out again to the show, at 10:46 p.m.  So a bit late, but not too late to miss the show.  WHICH WAS AWESOME!!!  Oh you really must see these guys in action.  The Wobbly Toms.  Just awesome Irish rock.  And while I'm there dancing, drinking, all around having a good time, TWO people that I have never met before asked me if I was dating THE BOYFRIEND.  So weird, right?  Apparently, they are all really happy that I am his girlfriend.  Which, yeah, so am I.  It's just weird that everyone knows me as his girlfriend before I even meet him.  He's a bit of a celebrity in this town, this small town where everybody knows everybody.  


Anyways, I have my two beers and we walk home exceptionally drunk.  Along the way, he starts talking about Katie (the ex that I met) and something to do with whatever.  Ok, yeah, he had a life before he met me.  I get that.  I'm not hating or judging.  But him just talking about her like he did, just so offhanded and nonchalant made me extremely pissed off.  So, I told him that I was still angry about the whole thing.  He stops in his tracks and gets this look on his face that is hurt and guilt for the experience that is so obviously hurting me still.  

"Baby, I didn't mean to hurt you.""It wasn't the experience that hurt me the most, honestly, it was the fact that you thought that it was funny."'But I really didn't.  I just said that to hide what I was really thinking about the whole thing. [...] I want only you.  No one else."

No, I haven't forgiven him for the whole thing yet.  I am still quite hurt, but much less so.  We walk home and get into bed, and of course promptly have great sex.  Drunk sex, but great nonetheless. 



Saturday was meet my parents day.  Not sure how to describe it.  He thinks they're cute and older versions of me.  He totally sees the resemblance and how I got to be how I am today.  All that stuff.  Kept doing the double take look between my mom and me at dinner.  Really off putting.  Later that night was a going away party for something at my old station.  So we both went and had fun.  It was basically our coming out party on our relationship.  He kept grabbing my ass all night though.  THE BOYFRIEND was really horny.  And the result of that is later on.  However, as we were checking out, and I don't remember exactly what he said, he kept saying the same phrase over and over getting louder each time.  He thought he was being funny, but I didn't really think that it was funny.  After he just got so loud that it felt like he was yelling at me, I said to him,

"Don't yell at me."  He responded with the guilt and the hurt that usually happens when I was in a phrase "telling him off.""I'm sorry!  I wasn't yelling at you, I thought that it would be funny.  I keep forgetting that you have dated shit heads before.  I don't mean to be like this.""I know you don't mean to be like that.  And you're not.  It was honestly a knee-jerk reaction.  That's all.  Forget about it.  Really.""I am sorry.  You know I don't mean anything by it.  You know I only do things if I think that I am going to get a laugh.  And I am getting really tired of having this moment.""Yeah, me too.  Let's just continue to cash out, and lets go home and get naked."

Yeah, this is it.  My carpet/seat burn.  Really hurts this one.

On our way home, he starts rubbing my pussy trying to get it wet and turning me on, I'm trying to drive AND rub his dick through his pants.  Finally, he just takes it out, so that way I can try to drive and rub on his dick with clothes getting in the way.  Reciprocation is key here.  He undoes my pants and rubs like that, and it's getting really hard to drive now.   No, I don't crash due to late night car heavy petting. It just sets the stage for car sex once I finally get the car parked at my house.  Wow, did the windows get foggy that night!  Yowza!  I'm on top of him in the passenger seat just riding him AND getting a carpet (or seat?) burn in the process.  But it's because of the burn that I can't continue anymore, plus I'm also getting the thought that he isn't going to be able to finish, I thought that he was drunk (he had 4 double jack and cokes and a lemon drop shot), but apparently he was just buzzed.  That's what they all say.  But whatever.  He's not a bad drunk at all.  I hope that it stays like this.  I don't want to reprimand him because of his drinking, but he really doesn't drink like this all that often.  I am so used to dating THE EX and all of his issues and habits.  Whatever.  We get back inside and go at it again.  First off though, he had to pee and he did so with the door open.  Yeah, I saw him pee.  Weird.  But I didn't let him see me pee though.  Meh.  I'm not there yet with the being open with my urination.  Well, it is just urination.  Anyways, we get back to sex.  It's great.  The car sex was the best though.  Haven't had car sex in a really LONG time.  He was very domineering and vocal about what he likes and what he wanted to do to me.  It really turned me on, and if I didn't have that burn I would've gone on until he finished most likely.

We fall asleep around 1 a.m.  He wakes me up around 6 a.m. because of his shift.  Crummy shift.  Doing stuff like sleep in after a night of amazing sex can only happen on saturday.  BUT he has a vacation days coming up that we are both looking forward to.  And sleeping in after a night of sex is like one of the best things in the world, when you are all a buzz from the orgasms the night before.  UGGGHHHH so ...  just so fantastic.  However, we woke up and fucked again.  So, the not sleeping in part is totally forgivable now.  He left after that so he could get a coke and some Unisom so he can sleep later.  He comes back, sometime later, around 10 a.m. I think, we fuck again.  And at this point my vag is starting to hurt.  Majorly.  It still hurts.  I'm thinking at this point in the weekend that we just had too much sex, again.  I told him this, and THE BOYFRIEND really thought that was funny.  That I'm complaining about the amount of sex we have had this weekend, that "your vagina is broken."

"You broke me!"

But he keeps teasing me, saying that I really shouldn't have said that to him.  HAHA he got his though, cause his dick is chaffed now.  We broke each other essentially, and he agrees that we might've had too much sex.  Later, after my parents came over, looked at our cars (hehe Dad looked at THE BOYFRIEND's truck too!), and then left, he's trying to sleep and can't.  Took 2 Unisoms and ate.  Only thing left would be to fuck again and/or shower.  He puts on a Frontline documentary, because we were watching 30Rock and he just will not fall asleep to 30 rock.  We end up fucking to that and then he takes a shower and falls asleep.  I fall asleep too; I was dead tired.  Didn't get much sleep over the weekend and really exhausted from all that sex we had.

I remember the dream I had very vividly.  It had all of my fears and I only woke up because of the hurt that I experienced in my dream.  He and I were in New York vacationing, when he left me at the metro station.  We just had a conversation in which he tells me that he has plans for his life that don't really involve me.  That he's only going to be with me for just a little bit longer.  Until he gets a better job somewhere else.  I try to follow him, but get lost and get robbed of my wallet which everything in it.  I'm sobbing trying to get back to Jersey where we were staying (don't ask me why we were staying in New Jersey but we were), when I see him at the station with a bunch of girls just surrounding him and he's being all charismatic and loving every second being surrounded by all these girls.  A bunch of us (him, the girls and I) decide to split a taxi cab back to where we were staying.  We don't even sit next to each other.  In fact, in my dream he's totally kissing the girl next to me.  So, I decide to kiss the girl next to me.  But I'm still feeling hurt from this obvious display of disregard for me by him.  And that is when I woke up.  I can remember the heartbreak from the dream; it hurt so bad that it pulled me awake.  The emotion just lifted me out of the dream and into the waking world.  I don't really know what that means, if anything.  I know that I have an extreme fear that I am going to get hurt by him, that he is just going to leave me for the rest of his life when it takes place.  Irrational?  I don't know.  That nightmare was probably the worst I have ever had in my life.  And I hope that the outlining events don't take place.  I'm not sure how I'd feel then.  What I would do.  Probably a bit like Hotel La Rut:

Oh Kids in the Hall.   You describe it so perfectly.

"Oh, Silvee, I can't stop thinking about Tony. Wondering where he could be, who he is with, what is he thinking, is he thinking of me, and whether he'll ever return someday."

And so, that is where we are today, right now.  THE BOYFRIEND is just waking up from his sleep before his shift.  Which means I've gotta get this posted before he sees what I've written.

Toodles!